Posted by: markfender | October 30, 2012

Headphone Diaries – February 12, 1990

It’s the second week of February (on this blog, not in real life) and that means it’s time for amazing music. Or not.

Toad the Wet Sprocket

Toad the Wet Sprocket’s second album came out this week. I didn’t listen to it. It was their third album, fear, that made them popular. And yet, I still recall hearing songs off of this album. And I didn’t like it. Their music was annoying.

But, like a dutiful journalist, I relistened to this album. And I still don’t like it. But I realized something interesting – Toad the Wet Sprocket may be the most generic alternative band to ever exist. When I think of the latter days of alternative, a few years before it was abandoned as a format, I recognized all the sounds. Because latter day alternative, in all its “cash-in” glory, sounded just like this particular album from Toad the Wet Sprocket. Even Glen Phillips’ singing sounds just like all those generic alternative bands singers. So, I guess props go to them for being the sound that everyone else ripped off. That’s gotta mean something.

Did it age well? God no. Even if you liked this band, you’re surely sick of that particular sound by now. Right? Please?

Should this go on my iPod? Do you respect your iPod?

MC Hammer
Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em

Oh God, the torture just won’t end. Because MC Hammer’s second album was also released this week. It has been years since I’ve heard MC Hammer. In fact, I couldn’t even remember the name of the big hit from this album, despite knowing that I must have heard it a billion times (It’s “U Can’t Touch This” for those with similarly poor memories). But, loading this up in Spotify, it all came rushing back in its terrible glory. Even particular bad rhymes suddenly sprang fully formed in my mind without having to hear them again.

I’m not a rap fan. Even this sort of cross over rap that gets the white people to dance doesn’t usually do much for me. So, I was pretty uninterested in this when it came out. Guess what? I’m still uninterested in it. Besides bringing back horrible memories, it also sounds incredibly dated. Just as grunge destroyed hair metal, gangter rap would destroy this particular strand of rap. Personally, I’m looking forward to that.

Did it age well? It aged very poorly. While you might have some fond memories of “U Can’t Touch This,” believe me when I say that these should remain as memories.

Should this go on my iPod? Only if you’re in charge of the ’90s throwback playlist at your next hilarious costume party.


  1. ‘… for those with similarly poor memories…’

    No, actually it was mentally blocked. However you ruined it and now that infernal song will be stuck in my head for the rest of the day, thanks. This horror ranks right up there with when Jim broke my mental block on Project A-Ko in Thac0’s anime episode. When he mentioned a space battle over a ship full of underwear, I went from thinking ‘what’s Project A-Ko?’ to cursing his very existence in seconds!!!

    • U Can’t Touch This

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