Posted by: markfender | April 24, 2013

Age of Apocalypse the Musical

I’m still not done hating Age of Apocalypse.

apocalypseAGE OF APOCALYPSE THE MUSICAL
A PLAY IN FIVE ACTS

ACT I, SCENE I

APOCALYPSE is on a dais giving a speech to an assembled crowd. ABYSS, CANDRA, MR. SINISTER, DEATH, and WAR stand behind him. The MADRI CHORUS stands behind them.

APOCALYPSE: (speaking to crowd)…And so, humans will worship my majesty as the Age of Apocalypse begins.

There is polite clapping from the HORSEMEN.

ABYSS: HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE.

CANDRA: (to MR. SINISTER) What’s his problem?

MR. SINISTER: No, I’m not planning on betraying everyone. Why would you even suspect that?

CANDRA: What? I didn’t say anything…

MR. SINISTER: Well, I’m not. And I resent the implication.

ABYSS: HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE.

DEATH: Will someone please shut him up?

WAR: Wait a minute… (to CANDRA) who are you?

CANDRA: I’m Candra. One of Apocalypse’s loyal Horseman.

WAR: Really? Have you always been here?

CANDRA: Yes. Remember when you fought the X-Men that one time?

DEATH: I don’t remember that.

CANDRA: Yeah, I beat up Storm or Rogue or maybe it was Jean Grey.

MR. SINISTER: (yelling) Guards! Arrest this one! Take her to the slave pits!

The MADRI CHORUS steps forward.

MADRI CHORUS: Ye men of Thebes, behold this Candra,
Who knew the famous riddle and was noblest,
Who envied no one’s fortune and success.
And, lo,! in what a sea of direst woe
She now is plunged.

MADRI CHORUS leads CANDRA off-stage.

CANDRA: (exiting) Wait! I’m a loyal servant of Apocalypse! Apocalypse! Help!

APOCALYPSE: (finishing speech) The beginning of my reign reminds me of one my favorite poems by one of my favorite authors. It’s called ‘On the Creation of Niggers’ by HP Lovecraft. (begins poetry reading) When, long ago, the gods created Earth…

DEATH: (interrupting) Excuse me, Lord Apocalypse.

APOCALYPSE: (distracted) Hmmm…

DEATH: We don’t have time for this. We must retreat to the Blue Area of the Moon.

WAR: There’s a blue area of the moon? What the hell does that even mean?

ABYSS: HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE.

APOCALYPSE: (noticing ABYSS for the first time) Who is this?

MR. SINISTER: He’s one of your Horseman, my lord. Abyss.

APOCALYPSE: What is he?

DEATH: Are we sure it’s a he?

MR. SINISTER: I have no idea.

WAR: I thought he was one of yours?

MR. SINISTER: No. I’m not sure what it is. He’s all…stringy…

WAR: And…bouncy…

ABYSS: HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE.

APOCALYPSE: Are you telling me that I have an evil Tigger in my organization?

MR. SINISTER: Apparently.

WAR: We’re doomed.

Exit.

ACT I, SCENE 2

X-Men headquarters. All X-MEN are gathered around MAGNETO and WOLVERINE.

WOLVERINE: I’m outa here.

MAGNETO: (distracted) Hmmm? Who are you?

WOLVERINE: And I’m taking Jean with me.

MAGNETO: Who?

ICEMAN: What’s going on?

MAGNETO: (to ICEMAN) Oh, it looks like this one is leaving.

ICEMAN: Who?

MAGNETO: I don’t know. We haven’t had a training montage to establish everyone’s character yet.

WOLVERINE: Screw you, bub.

WOLVERINE exits.

MAGNETO: Well, that was weird. Anyway…(louder) Attention, my X-Men. As you all know, when my friend Charles Xavier died, I swore to…

SCARLET WITCH: (Aside) Oh God, not this story again.

MAGNETO: (continuing) …And that is why I promised him to always work for mutant rights.

SCARLET WITCH: But you failed to prevent Apocalypse from taking over the United States.

MAGNETO: Yes, but…

SCARLET WITCH: In fact, you really didn’t do anything to prevent him.

MAGNETO: Well, yes, but…

SCARLET WITCH: In fact, in an alternate reality, Charles and you fought all the time, and yet Apocalypse didn’t take over. You would think that you two would have been weaker so that he would have an easier time of taking over. What does Charles’ death have to do with Apocalypse taking over at all? Is it because you’re a terrible leader?

MAGNETO: Now, listen here, young lady, I don’t know who you are, but…

SCARLET WITCH: I’m your daughter.

MAGNETO: What? Oh, yes. What are your powers again?

SCARLET WITCH: (exasperated) I control reality.

MAGNETO: (not understanding) And what does that do?

SCARLET WITCH: I can change probabilities…

MAGNETO is still confused.

SCARLET WITCH: *sigh* I shoot energy at people.

MAGNETO: Oh, yes! Like 80% of all mutants!

SCARLET WITCH: And fly…

MAGNETO: Oh, good. I can’t use a mutant who can’t fly.

GAMBIT: Hey!

SCARLET WITCH: But that doesn’t answer the original question: Why was Apocalypse able to take over in this reality?

MAGNETO: What? I can’t be bothered with this right now. I’m still working on how to touch Rogue so that I can have sex with her.

Gambit: Hey!

SCARLET WITCH: (muttering) You just wait til House of M.

SCARLET WITCH leaves.

MAGNETO: Now, as I was saying, Apocalypse may have taken over the United States, but we X-Men are going to fight him…

QUICKSILVER Enters.

QUICKSILVER: (interrupting) Father! Rictor has just killed Wanda!

MAGNETO: Who?

QUICKSILVER: Wanda. Your daughter.

MAGNETO: I can’t be bothered with that right now. I’m going to go have sex with this 20-year old redhead.

GAMBIT: Hey!

ACT II, SCENE 1

BLINK and SABERTOOTH are walking.

BLINK: (excited) Mr. Creed! Mr. Creed!

SABERTOOTH: Yes?

BLINK: You stopped providing fatherly advice just then.

SABERTOOTH: Well, I’m not very good at it. And I’m not really sure where we are.

BLINK: Well, I just assumed that I teleported us somewhere. I do that.

SABERTOOTH: Yes…

BLINK: Did I ever tell you about how awful the camps were?

SABERTOOTH: A thousand times, yes.

BLINK: Did I tell you how I was raped repeatedly by Sugar Man?

SABERTOOTH: What?!!!

BLINK: Yeah, apparently that was added to my backstory later. To make it more tragic or something.

SABERTOOTH: But, that’s awful!

BLINK: Yeah, I know. I’m remarkably cheerful about it! You’d think I’d have some issues or something, but, no.

SABERTOOTH: Well, uh, buck up little camper.

BLINK: Oh, thanks Mr. Creed! Your fatherly advice is so helpful!

Exit.

ACT II, SCENE 3

BEAST is experimenting in the slave pits. CYCLOPS enters.

CYCLOPS: (aside) I’m having second thoughts about joining Apocalypse.

HAVOK enters.

HAVOK: I hate you!

CYCLOPS: Excuse me?

HAVOK: Shut up! You’re not the boss of me!

CYCLOPS: Well, technically, I am.

HAVOK: Shut up! I’m going to Heaven to unwind now.

CYCLOPS: That sounds like a good idea. I’ll accompany you.

HAVOK: GOD, I HATE YOU!!

CYCLOPS and HAVOK exit.

BEAST: No one ever cares about my work.

ACT II, SCENE 4

CYCLOPS and HAVOK enter HEAVEN. ANGEL greets them.

ANGEL: Why, look, it’s my old friends Cyclops and Havok. How have you been?

Cyclops: We’ve been doing well. How has your obvious front for the resistance been?

ANGEL: What? I resent that! I’m loyal to Apocalypse!

HAVOK: Can I fuck your bartender?

ANGEL: This isn’t a brothel!

CYCLOPS: Really? Even with the “Heaven” theme you’ve got going on here? And you greeting us individually every time we come here, I just assumed you were the madam.

ANGEL: Ugh.

HAVOK: Seriously. I’d like to fuck your bartender.

ANGEL: Fine, whatever.

ACT III, SCENE 2

X-MAN, FORGE, and MR. SINISTER are traveling.

X-MAN: I’M NATHAN SUMMERS. I’M REALLY IMPORTANT!

MR. SINISTER: Yes, you are.

FORGE: Now, now, Nathan. We haven’t test out your powers yet. We don’t know what you’re capable of.

X-MAN: YES, WE HAVE! WE DO IT ALL THE TIME!

MR. SINISTER: Don’t listen to Forge. He doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

FORGE: Really? This coming from Apocalypse’s right-hand man.

MR. SINISTER: What? No, I’m Essex. A humble mutant who joined your rag-tag band of mutants. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Forge: You look exactly like Mr. Sinister. You’re using his last name. It’s kind of obvious.

X-MAN: OH MY GOD! MY TWO MENTORS ARE FIGHTING! WHICH ONE WILL I SIDE WITH?

Forge: You know what? Just take him and do whatever. He’s annoying.

MR. SINISTER: Mu-hah-hah! Oh, wait. I mean, if you think that’s best.

ACT III, SCENE 5

NIGHTCRAWLER and MYSTIQUE are aboard a boat.

MYSTIQUE: Have I told you about how I named the team after my bullets?

NIGHTCRAWLER: ONLY LIKE A BILLION TIMES!

DAMASK and DEAD MAN WADE enter.

DEAD MAN WADE: Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind.

DAMASK: Ha! We caught you two!

DEAD MAN WADE: Hello Darkness, my old friend. I’ve come to talk with you again.

NIGHTCRAWLER: What’s his problem?

DAMASK: Oh, him? He’s really sad. So he sings sad songs to himself all the time. It’s harmless.

DEAD MAN WADE: Working on our night moves. Trying to lose the awkward teenage blues.

MYSTIQUE: That song isn’t really sad. It’s more maudlin than anything.

DEAD MAN WADE: Despite all my rage I’m still just a rat in a cage.

NIGHTCRAWLER: Hey! That album isn’t even out yet!

MYSTIQUE: How did you know about it, then?

NIGHTCRAWLER: Uh, the same way he knew about it?

DAMASK: Oh, you break the fourth wall all the time, too?

NIGHTCRAWLER: Well, no, not really. I guess I could teleport there…

DAMASK: That’s stupid.

MYSTIQUE: Have I told you about how the bullets in my gun have little ‘X’s on them?

NIGHTCRAWLER: I’m going back to the circus.

DEAD MAN WADE: If you wanna be my lover you gotta get with my friends.

DAMASK: Can I join you?

ACT III, SCENE 7

GAMBIT, JUBILEE, STRONG GUY, and LILA enter the M’KRAAN CRYSTAL chamber.

JUBILEE: Yay! We found the crystal thingie!

GAMBIT: Jubilation!

JUBILEE: What?

GAMBIT: (confused) What?

JUBILEE: Jubilation. That’s my name.

GAMBIT: Really? What a weird name.

JUBILEE: Oh, you can talk, Remy.

GAMBIT: Whatever, mon chere. We got to figga’ out how to get this ting out of here.

JUBILEE: (to LILA) What did he say?

LILA: I don’t know. His dialect is really think.

GAMBIT: It’s not tat hard to understand!

LILA and JUBILEE look at each other.

GAMBIT: Oh come on!

STRONG GUY: Maybe we can use our powers to get us out of here.

GAMBIT: Yeah.

JUBILEE: Good idea. What are your powers, Strong Guy?

Everyone looks at JUBILEE.

JUBILEE: Okay, I knew that was dumb as soon as I said it. What are your powers, Gambit?

GAMBIT: I charge things wit kinetic energy and trow them.

LILA: Oh, like 80% of all mutants!

JUBILEE: What, like bullets?

GAMBIT: No, these playing cards.

JUBILEE: But that’s stupid. You can’t throw cards very far. Like, what, five or ten feet? And they’re not that accurate.

GAMBIT: No, I can’t do bullets. They’re in the gun and I have to touch the ting…

JUBILEE: Why don’t you use a revolver? You can touch the bullet before it goes into the chamber.

GAMBIT: I never tought of dat.

JUBILEE: (rolls her eyes) I also suppose you never thought that it’s actually potential energy you put in those cards. I remember that from school.

GAMBIT: Whatever, smart girl. What’s your power?

JUBILEE: Oh, me? I shoot bright lights!

LILA: Oh, like 80% of all….wait, bright lights?

JUBILEE: Yeah!

LILA: What good is that?

JUBILEE: I have no idea.

GAMBIT: So, none of us have any powers to get us out of here?

LILA: Oh, I can teleport across space and time.

STRONG GUY: Why didn’t you say that earlier?

JUBILEE: Oh Em Gee, we’re all gonna’ die.

LILA: Oh Em Gee?

JUBILEE: (shrugs) It’s a thing I was trying out. Maybe it’ll catch on.

ACT IV, SCENE 1

STORM, QUICKSILVER, and BANSHEE are fighting ABYSS.

ABYSS: HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE.

STORM: Okay, that’s it. I’ve had enough of him. (begins to summon storm) You know what happens to a …. (stops) Wait, what exactly is he?

QUICKSILVER: I’m not really sure.

BANSHEE: Begorrah!

STORM: I think he’s an animated Slinky.

ABYSS: HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE.

QUICKSILVER: That’s certainly possible.

STORM: Okay, I’m going with it. (begins to summon storm) You know what happens to a Slinky that gets struck by lightning?

QUICKSILVER: I’m going to run away really fast so I don’t have to hear the rest of this.

BANSHEE: Begorrah!

ACT IV, SCENE 2

HOLOCAUST is killing civilians.

HOLOCAUST: Fear the might of Holocaust!

SABERTOOTH enters.

SABERTOOTH: Whoa. Seriously?

HOLOCAUST: What?

SABERTOOTH: Your name is Holocaust?

HOLOCAUST: Yeah.

SABERTOOTH: Well, I can say this for Apocalypse – he’s not subtle.

HOLOCAUST: What do you mean?

SABERTOOTH: What’s the name of the next Horseman? Elder of Zion?

HOLOCAUST: (chagrined) Ya know, I wondered about that when he named me. I’m not exactly comfortable with it. But what can you do…

SABERTOOTH: Well, you could tell me all your plans.

HOLOCAUST: Ha! I would never tell my plans!

SABERTOOTH: (disinterested) Well, okay. Whatever.

HOLOCAUST: Wait! Come back! I could tell you about my plans to crush New Jersey if that would help…

SABERTOOTH: Ha! You didn’t realize that I had (pulls WILD CHILD out from behind his back) Wild Child with me the whole time! Now he can alert the other X-Men of your plans!

WILD CHILD exits.

HOLOCAUST: I didn’t see him there. Was he in your pants?

SABERTOOTH: What? No! I’m not gay!

HOLOCAUST: Hey, I’m not judging…

ACT IV, SCENE 3

ROGUE and ICEMAN are fighting.

ROGUE: Take that, sugah!

ICEMAN: You’re just calling everyone ‘sugar’ now?

ROGUE: Ah got confused.

WILD CHILD enters.

ICEMAN: Hey, it’s Wild Child! It looks like he wants to say something! What is it, boy?

ROGUE: He’s not a dog.

WILD CHILD: (barks and whimpers)

ICEMAN: Timmy’s trapped in the…garbage dump? Is that what he’s saying?

ROGUE: *sigh* Looks like ah got to do this the hard way. (takes off glove and touches WILD CHILD)

ROGUE and WILD CHILD fall down.

ICEMAN: What is it, Rogue? What did he have to say?

ROGUE opens her eyes.

ROGUE: (begins barking)

ICEMAN: This team is pathetic.

ACT IV, SCENE 4

The Training montage is over. HUSK, CHAMBER, SKIN, COLLOSUS, and SHADOWCAT are preparing to infiltrate SUGAR MAN’s slave pits.

SHADOWCAT: Snikt bub.

HUSK: Why does she keep doing that?

CHAMBER: She’s got Wolverine claws now. It’s what happens to them when they get them.

HUSK: Wait, why does she have adamantium claws? Wasn’t her phasing stuff enough?

CHAMBER: Apparently not.

HUSK: So, they’re just experimenting with creating a Wolverine clone?

SKIN: Pretty much.

HUSK: Well, they should give her foot spikes as well. That’d be really cool.

CHAMBER: Whose side are you on?

COLLOSUS: SHUT UP EVERYONE!! DO WHAT I SAY!!!

SKIN: He’s kind of a dick.

HUSK: Yeah.

SHADOWCAT: Snikt bub.

COLLOSUS: We’re going to infiltrate the base and rescue my sister. I don’t care how you do it. Just get it done.

HUSK: Can we do it in a comical way that takes another fifteen scenes?

CHAMBER: That sounds dumb.

SKIN: I’d like to do it in the comical way as well. I can crouch on top of Husk’s head in our ridiculous disguise…

CHAMBER: Hey, that’s my girlfriend!

SHADOWCAT: Snikt bub.

SKIN: Is she? I keep getting mixed messages on that. Like the time we had sex.

CHAMBER: What?!

HUSK: We’re not dating. You have a giant hole in your chest. It’s gross.

CHAMBER: Your skin keeps falling off! You’re the gross one.

SKIN: Hey, let’s not start throwing accusations around.

COLLOSUS: Why, exactly, do you have a hole in your chest, Chamber?

CHAMBER: It’s where my power comes from.

COLLOSUS: Yes, but that’s kind of weird. What is your power?

CHAMBER: I shoot energy at people.

COLLOSUS: Oh thank god. Like 80% of all mutants. I thought it was going to be disturbing.

HUSK: Hey, I just realized none of us can fly.

SKIN: We’re all fucked.

SHADOWCAT: Snikt bub.

ACT IV, SCENE 6

MAGNETO and BISHOP are talking.

MAGNETO: In this alternate reality you come from…wait, why did you come here?

BISHOP: I traveled back in time to stop Charles Xavier from dying.

MAGNETO: But that’s a different alternate reality than you’re originally from, right?

BISHOP: No. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

MAGNETO: No, in that timeline you came from the future to the past to change the present. But, in this one, you came to a different reality than your past. That’s very confusing.

BISHOP: It was all explained in that other play.

MAGNETO: There was another play?

BISHOP: I assume so. That’s how these things work.

MAGNETO: Oh, okay. Well, anyway, I am conflicted.

BISHOP: How so?

MAGNETO: Apparently, if you go back in time to prevent Charles’ death, than none of this ever happened, correct?

BISHOP: That’s the idea, yes.

MAGNETO: So, I never lead the X-Men?

BISHOP: Well, yeah, you do. But you’re Xorn then.

MAGNETO: What?

BISHOP: Never mind, it was weird.

MAGNETO: In this other reality, I’m a terribly racist dick, yes?

BISHOP: Yeah, pretty much.

MAGNETO: So, maybe I shouldn’t send you back in time to fix the time stream. I’ve done some good here…

BISHOP: Like what?

MAGNETO: Well, I totally made it with that hot redhead. Have you seen her? And she didn’t gain any weight from the pregnancy. It’s damned amazing.

BISHOP: There is that…

MAGNETO: But I did fail to prevent Apocalypse from taking over…

BISHOP: Yeah, you sorta cocked that one up.

MAGNETO: Is that some of your future slang? Or your black heritage?

BISHOP: You racist son of….

MAGNETO: No, you misunderstand. I’m not racist in this reality.

BISHOP: But you sent that purple girl off with Sabertooth. You sent Storm off to deal with Abyss. You let Gambit take Jubilee. You sent Mystique and Nightcrawler to Antartica. You’ve surrounded yourself with white people.

MAGNETO: That’s not true. You’re still here.

BISHOP: I’m relieved.

MAGNETO: So, the question is: Why can’t we just defeat Apocalypse in this reality? And I can remain a good guy…

BISHOP: Oh, that’s what actually happens.

MAGNETO: Really?

BISHOP: Yeah, you kill Apocalypse and it’s all good.

MAGNETO: So, why do I need to send you back in time? If we win here?

BISHOP: Because I came from the future…

MAGNETO: What is your power, anyway? Prescience?

BISHOP: No, I absorb kinetic energy and then shoot it at people.

MAGNETO: Like energy?

BISHOP: Yeah.

MAGNETO: Oh, like 80% of all mutants. Can you fly?

BISHOP: No.

MAGNETO: Wait, if you can shoot energy at people, why do you carry those guns?

BISHOP: They go with all my straps.

MAGNETO: I notice you still have that ‘M’ on your face.

BISHOP: Yes.

MAGNETO: But, didn’t that happen in the reality that didn’t happen? Because of Charles dying?

BISHOP: (crying) I don’t even know anymore.

ACT IV, SCENE 8

X-Men headquarters. ROGUE is present. MAGNETO enters.

MAGNETO: Oh no, they’ve kidnapped my son, Charles!

ROGUE: Ah can’t believe they’d do that.

QUICKSILVER enters.

QUICKSILVER: Wait, hold on. You named your son after your dead best friend?

MAGNETO: Oh, Quicksilver. I didn’t see you there. How did you get here so fast?

QUICKSILVER: I have super-speed.

MAGNETO: Oh, right.

QUICKSILVER: But, Charles is your third child. Why didn’t you name me after Charles? I was obviously born after Charles died.

MAGNETO: (distracted) Hmmm?

ROGUE: It’s best to not botha him when he gets like this.

QUICKSILVER: I’m glad I don’t have his last name.

MAGNETO: Back when my best friend Charles died…

ROGUE: Ah my god this again.

ACT V, SCENE 2

CYCLOPS is escaping from the slave pits. He runs into JEAN GREY.

CYLCOPS: Oh, excuse me.

JEAN GREY: It’s okay.

CYCLOPS: Do I know you? You look really familiar.

JEAN GREY: Yeah, we met that one time when you chopped off Wolverine’s hand.

CYCLOPS: Really? How did I do that? I thought he was made of adamantium?

JEAN GREY: Yeah, it was all in that other play.

CYCLOPS: There was another play? (pause)

JEAN GREY: My eyes are up here.

CYCLOPS: What? I didn’t think anyone could tell where I was looking with this visor on.

JEAN GREY: I read minds.

CYCLOPS: Oh, that’s cool.

JEAN GREY: No, it’s actually awful. Everyone around me is always thinking about having sex with me.

CYCLOPS: Well, you’re not making it any easier by wearing those skin-tight clothes all the time. And you’re always arching your back to thrust out your various…parts.

X-MAN enters.

X-MAN: CAN’T STAY! MUST KILL APOCALYPSE!

X-MAN exits.

CYCLOPS: Who was that?

JEAN GREY: Oh, that was Cable. He’s our son.

CYCLOPS: What? Really? When did that happen?

JEAN GREY: He’s from the future in an alternate reality. It’s really confusing.

CYCLOPS: How was he born here?

JEAN GREY: Mr. Sinister stole our DNA and mixed it together.

CYCLOPS: Oh. That’s a remarkably simple explanation.

ACT V, SCENE 4

The Final Showdown in APOCALYPSE’S LAIR. Everyone who hasn’t died is here. Except for WOLVERINE.

MAGNETO: This is for Charles Xavier. (shoots energy and kills APOCALYPSE)

X-MAN: NO!!! I WAS SUPPOSED TO KILL APOCALYPSE!! MR. SINISTER TOLD ME!!!

ICEMAN: Really? You believed someone named “Mr. Sinister”?

X-MAN: I HATE YOU ALL!!

X-MAN exits.

SHADOWCAT: Snikt bub.

APOCALYPSE: (dying) I see the error of my ways now. I’m a metaphor for the eugenics movement.

GAMBIT: Dis is true.

APOCALYPSE: Be quiet when speaking to your betters, you quadroon.

GAMBIT: Hey!

APOCALYPSE: And you, Magneto, you’re a metaphor for Malcolm X.

MAGNETO: Okay…

APOCALYPSE: And Charles Xavier is Martin Luther King Jr.. Except with a lot of violence. So, he’s really more like Malcolm X.

ICEMAN: I’m not sure this metaphor works.

APOCALYPSE: No, wait. I’ll figure this out eventually. Give me a minute.

MAGNETO: Ah, old friend…if only you hadn’t died…

ROGUE: Ah am so sick of this.

BISHOP: Well, you’re the one sleeping with the senior citizen.

ROGUE: It’s not that bad. He’s still drawn like he’s in his 30s.

APOCALYPSE: (dying) My only regret…is not…killing all the…Jews.

MAGNETO: Well, that’s over.

BISHOP: Ahem. Aren’t you forgetting something?

MAGNETO: What? Oh yes, Bishop. We’ll send you through time now so you can save Charles Xavier.

BISHOP steps into TIME MACHINE.

SHADOWCAT: Snikt bub.

COLOSSUS kills Shadowcat.

ICEMAN: What a dick.

MAGNETO: Well, that’s it everyone. We stopped Apocalypse and sent Bishop through time. We’ve effectively ended racism once and for all.

BANSHEE: Begorrah!

THE END

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Responses

  1. Bravo, Bravo
    ***Standing Ovation***


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