Posted by: markfender | May 21, 2013

Headphone Diaries – March 12, 1991

God, I hate this band.

R.E.M._-_Out_of_TimeR.E.M.
Out of Time

Alternative enters the mainstream as R.E.M.’s stupid-terrible sound becomes popular. I hate R.E.M. Still do. Michael Stipe has the world’s most annoying voice, the most annoying stage persona, and the most annoying lyrics. With godawful songs like “Losing My Religion” (doesn’t rhyme) and “Shiny Happy People” (rhymes accidentally), R.E.M. became the ugly poster children of the burgeoning alternative scene. They later went on to win some Grammies for this shit, which is especially criminal considering that Nirvana’s Nevermind was one of the nominees (In fact, looking at the nominees for the early 90s and the winners, I have to say the Grammies didn’t know what the fuck they were doing).

I pretty much knew who to avoid in high school based on whether they owned an R.E.M. t-shirt or not.

R.E.M. wasn’t done annoying me, though because the following year they came out with Automatic for the People, which of course had another huge following. Now I had to hear how brilliant songs about Andy Kaufman were and hear the nails-on-chalkboard drawn-out nasal whine of “Everybody Hurts” all the fucking time. Which was probably worse. Because seeing Michael Stipe flop around in the video for “Losing My Religion” was certainly annoying, but it can’t compare to the truly awful “Everybody Hurts.” Seriously, R.E.M., you’re making me hurt. Stop it.

There are two R.E.M. songs that are not terrible: “It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” and “Drive.” So let’s end this with “Drive” since it was on Automatic For the People and maybe won’t leave me with a bad taste in my mouth.

Did it age well? Does it still make me want to kill myself?

Should this go on your iPod? OH MY GOD I CAN’T TALK ABOUT THIS BAND ANYMORE. I JUST CAN’T.

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