Posted by: markfender | December 18, 2013


Hey, I graduated!


Well, okay, technically I haven’t graduated yet. The ceremony is on Friday. I still have some finals today. But, sometime today I will officially stop going to school and I think that counts.

I completed a degree in 3.5 years. I did this by taking classes every summer (and sometimes winter) break. I did this because the only summer I didn’t take any classes was kind of boring. The break was nice, but, with a very meager income, I sort of felt like I was wasting my time. I’m way too old to be sitting around pondering my future – my future is already here. So, I did as much school as I possibly could, all the time.

The first few years of college were great. Having already lived in the “real world” for plenty of time, it was a weird novelty to just be sitting there while someone else talked. What was I doing? This is so easy. Why don’t people go to college forever?! Even though I was fully enmeshed in the classes that I didn’t have any real interest in at this point, it was still a breath of fresh air. Even when loaded down with tons of math homework that I did not understand, I could still say to myself, “Hey, it beats working.” I even contemplated at that point just becoming a professor so that I didn’t have to do any real work ever again.

Unfortunately, that sort of faded. By the time I was deep into my actual major’s classes, I came to realize that I could not spend the rest of my life talking to children. Nor could I abide the excuses children were constantly spouting as to why they hadn’t finished anything. I just can’t deal with young people all that well, I guess. Their concerns are not my concerns. And, while I remain fairly culturally-aware so I didn’t miss any of their “young people” references, I also am not capable of dealing with their idea of problems. I had one professor who seemed to have this same attitude. Watching her loath everything her students did sort of opened my eyes to the sort of professor I would probably end up turning into, and I decided that I’d better pursue a different career.

Speaking of careers, is anybody hiring? God, I’m so hungry… I need health insurance. And I’d really love to go to the dentist at some point. Plus, I’ve got this huge amount of debt looming over me now.

Overall, college is pretty cool. I highly recommend it for everyone. I learned stuff and stuff is cool (<–This sentence cost $40,000).


  1. Congratulations, Mark! Wait, no, I mean, good job finally doing what so many others have done before you at a younger age or with a better degree… oh that’s not right either. Crap. Now get a job you freaking hippy.

    • My hope is that I had way more fun in my twenties than you were having with your schooling, but that’s probably not true either.

      • Me, ha. My school kicked me out after a year and a half. Then I was married at 23 so you probably had more fun too. But now I outearn her and her $120k of student loans it took to get her through 8 years of private school so thats fun to rub in.

      • But really congratulations. I’ve been trying to get back for the last several years and its probably going to be several more,

  2. Congrats!

    So why don’t you stick out for your Masters or Doctorate so you can be a college bum for longer if you appreciate higher learning so much 😛

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