Posted by: markfender | January 7, 2014

Hello Potential Employer(s)

Well, hello potential employer. You’ve discovered my blog, perhaps by being a discerning employer and googling my name.

offerExcept that you really can’t find this blog by googling my name. I have a somewhat famous last name, so really your first couple pages of results are just going to be guys named Mark who uploaded a video of themselves playing their new guitars to Youtube. And, I regret to inform you, that none of those people are me. I don’t own a guitar.

So, instead, you tracked me down some other way. Perhaps I mentioned the blog in my cover letter to you. Especially if it was some sort of writing job. Or maybe you’re just really good at finding people on the internet. In any case, you’ve discovered my blog so I thought I should maybe show you around a little.

The first thing you’ll notice is that there are a lot of pictures of LEGOs. This is because of my sense of child-like wonder, surely a valuable asset to you in the field of [fillintheblank]. I also really enjoy seeing how people are able to build things out of standardized blocks. This is something I am terrible at, but really appreciate in others.

The second thing you might notice are the inordinate number of pictures of Lady Gaga. I am not obsessed with her, I swear. We have quite a healthy relationship, actually – I have “Poker Face” on my iPod and she doesn’t know I exist. Instead, I find it amusing to match her outfits with some other pop culture symbol. It’s my postmodern method of irony. Surely, that will be useful to you at the corporate offices of [giant corporation]. I know you guys value hipster sensibilities over there.

Finally, you might be concerned about the number of vampires that have appeared here over the last year. I must apologize for that. That series grew way out of control. It was mostly just a critical look at a roleplaying game that I like, but that has a number of flaws as well. I was attempting to explain how each book fit into that sense and where it fell in the spectrum of worthy products, but it quickly grew out of hand. However, unlike most people on the internet, I will not quit a project when it no longer interests me. No, we are going to get through each and every one of those books, despite the amazing lack of interest. That’s the sort of work ethic you can expect from me – despite the tediousness of the task, I will finish what I set out to do.

So, thanks for checking out my blog, potential employer. I hope you learned a lot and grew to respect me as a person. Or, barring that, just fucking hire me.

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