Posted by: markfender | May 14, 2014

A Five-Year Old Boy Reviews Sex Toys

Sybian Package

sybianbkbThis is a pretty cool earthquake machine. I like the dials that let you change how rough the earthquake. It’s fun to build a town with my LEGOs and see how long it takes to break apart.

Pros: Lots of different earthquake options.

Cons: Should have been flat. Lots of weird things that poke up.

$1,345.00

Fleshlight Classic Pink Lady

fleshlightThis is a good fireworks holder. You can fit a lot of bottle rockets in it. It also makes an okay weapon when playing GI Joe with Trevor from down the street.

Pros: Screw-on cap hides fireworks from Mom.

Cons: Stupid pink top gets burned when the fireworks ignite. Also, it’s pink.

$48.71

 

Shag’in Sally Masturbator

383571-388472-350x350

This toy is funny because it’s a butt.

Pros: It’s a butt.

Cons: None.

$99.95

 

(No actual five-year old boys were involved in this.)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: