Nuts

I don’t like nuts.

I never have. I think they taste like wood. And I’m not a big fan of texture in my food (Not to say that I want things to always be equally mushy, but I find having hard chunks of stuff in an otherwise not-hard foodstuff to be slightly disconcerting. I have a love/hate relationship with Ben & Jerry’s for this very reason).

This resulted in some odd conversations over the years, usually revolving around someone who brought brownies or cookies into the office to share. After asking about nut content, we would then have the conversation about why I don’t like nuts and they would accuse me of being weird. But that’s all changed.

Now, when I ask about nut content in various foodstuffs, people immediately counter with “Oh, are you allergic?” I’m not, of course. I just don’t like them. But its often easier to just say “Yes” and move on.

I don’t know where nut allergies came from, nor the reason they’re now a culturally sensitive issue. I don’t know when nuts decided to start killing people. I’m sorry for anyone who actually suffers from nut allergies. But I’m totally going to claim membership in your brotherhood if it helps me avoid gross things.

Thanks allergies (I don’t have)!